Jokes

[Acipencer]

When you meet someone who speaks Russian, remember to say "много". It means a lot to them.

[eldin raigmore]

https://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/linguistics_gossip.png

[Man in Space]

Did you hear about the papal conclave that elected a pontiff who was four feet tall? Their choice was, admittedly, a little unorthodox.

[Arayaz]

A friend of mine was making a language recently. He wanted a really consonant-heavy language to get a break of sorts from his usual vowel-heavy languages. He didn't have much experience with consonants, so he asked me to review his inventory.
/p pʰ b p͆ p͆ʰ b̪ t̪ t̪ʰ d̪ t tʰ d t̠ t̠ʰ d̠ ʈ ʈʰ ɖ c cʰ ɟ k kʰ ɡ q qʰ ɢ ʡ ʔ/
/m ɱ n ɲ ŋ/
/f v s z ç x ħ h/
/r l j w/
He really pulled out all the stops there.

Edit: this didn't really happen, of course, because none of my friends are conlangers.

[Nel Fie]

Someone said this to me elsewhere, and it wasn't even intended as a joke, but gave me a good chuckle.

After me explaining phonomimes to them:

"Phonomimes sound a lot like onomatopoeia."

[Man in Space]

inbox, inbocis (f.) one’s e-mails

[Visions1]

This is a joke from the Inuit around Churchill, Manitoba my grandmother picked up from them:

In Inuktitut, there are long vowels, and short ones. For example, to say /awûutatat/ would mean "Our Father," as in "Our Father Who art in Heaven" - whereas /awutatat/ would mean "I hurt myself!"

So one time, this Priest - one the Inuit actually rather liked, I think this story actually happened - was preaching to his Inuit congregation on Sunday, and called them to pray. So he began: "Awutatat."
And the whole church sprang up and ran to him, crying out "Father, father, are you hurt?"

[eldin raigmore]

This is really a short question about natlangs; and I expect the answer will be short, also.
However I’m putting it here in “jokes” because I think it is likely to inspire puns, even though I haven’t thought of any.
….
Is “Bifrost” pronounced like “beef roast”?

[Man in Space]

This is really a short question about natlangs; and I expect the answer will be short, also.
However I’m putting it here in “jokes” because I think it is likely to inspire puns, even though I haven’t thought of any.
….
Is “Bifrost” pronounced like “beef roast”?

Not in the MCU.

[Arayaz]

When you meet someone who speaks Russian, remember to say "много". It means a lot to them.

Told this to my uncle, who has learned Russian, and got a raised eyebrow. :)

[prettydragoon]

"... so maybe the *real* Dark Lord was the fiends we made along the way."

[Arayaz]

"... so maybe the *real* Dark Lord was the fiends we made along the way."

Says the tiefling warlock after the party defeats the BBEG, but the DM laughs and says "Oh, no, it's not over yet" with an evil grin on their face?

[prettydragoon]

"... so maybe the *real* Dark Lord was the fiends we made along the way."

Says the tiefling warlock after the party defeats the BBEG, but the DM laughs and says "Oh, no, it's not over yet" with an evil grin on their face?

[Arayaz]

Not sure where to put this, so here:


A lot of things in linguistics are annoying.
There's the IPA [ɡ]-instead-of-[g] rule.
There's the fact that "perfect" and "perfective" are entirely unrelated.
There's the refusal of any font to perfectly render all IPA characters while looking good.
But one thing trumps it all...
"Loanword" is a calque...
AND "CALQUE" IS A LOANWORD!
Like, WHY?!?
You could've called them lehnworts and tracings! Then it would all work out! But no!! You just had to be difficult!!! Why!!!!

[Khemehekis]

But one thing trumps it all...
"Loanword" is a calque...
AND "CALQUE" IS A LOANWORD!
Like, WHY?!?
You could've called them lehnworts and tracings! Then it would all work out! But no!! You just had to be difficult!!! Why!!!!
[/size]

Never thought about that! But it's true!

More original than asking "Why do we park in a driveway but drive in a parkway?", anyway.

[prettydragoon]

Michael Palin, the British actor and television presenter, was told by his doctor that he should exercise more. So he had a private running track built for himself. It is called the Palindrome.

[Man in Space]

My life.

[Khemehekis]

Michael Palin, the British actor and television presenter, was told by his doctor that he should exercise more. So he had a private running track built for himself. It is called the Palindrome.

Ooh, great one!

Or we could tell it about American politician Sarah . . .

[Arayaz]

My life.

Is it a funny one?

[Man in Space]

My life.

Is it a funny one?

More like a cruel one, it seems.